The struggle in the story

Bear did not deal well. Her nurturing self felt decimated and the frightened little girl that lives inside most of us took over. It can be very difficult to look at the struggles that come out in our story. They are not very pretty but the point of facing them in the story is to see them from the outside and not be mired in the pain that is living on the inside. Then you can hear your own story.

One of the key points of restoring your story is naming your struggle so that you can see it for what it is.

At first it was so sudden that she felt nothing. She was mesmerized. She was in shock. Bear looked within searching for each shard. Each shard screamed that she had disappointed everyone. She found one shard that said her children fight and remembered a time a couple of weeks back when they did have a fight. It was over a pinecone that was lying in the meadow. Who was there that day? Could some of those animals be the ones Coyote said talk about how bad my cubs are? She looked at the cubs. One had a stick and another came and snatched the stick away.

“It’s true!” she said, “my cubs fight all the time and no one likes me because they are so terrible.” So the shard wriggled its way deeper and deeper under her skin and began to fester. She felt terrible and screamed at the cubs to get into the cave but they were playing didn’t want to go inside until they finished their game.

“It’s true!” She cried, “ They wont do anything that I tell them to do and all the other animals think I’m reprehensible. I will not have it! I’ll make them do what I say right now!” So she went and screamed at them. The words from the shards came right out of her mouth and were filled with hate toward her cubs. But she was more filled with hate for herself since the shards had mesmerized her into believing that she created little monsters. She was separated form the truth. The truth was that they were just healthy normal cubs.

The truth was that Coyote was generally unhappy with himself. Bear could lot see the truth because the shards cut so deeply into her.

“No one likes my cubs and they are going to end up in a cage.” She thought, “They would be better off without me. It is my great shame that I birthed them. If I could just leave now, they will be better off.”

Of course Bear couldn’t actually leave her cubs because if she left them, they would starve. So, Bear stayed and her heart left instead. Her heart was filled with sharp pointed flint and it crawled out of her chest and then went into hiding under a bush. Bear was quite sick without her heart. She never had a kind word for her cubs and she began to hate foraging for food for them. Speaking to them was a chore. They were the symbol of her failure. Of course this behavior only made things worse and worse. The cubs became filled with self-doubt and anger. The other animals began to stay away. No one could stand to be close to any of them.

Bear noticed more shards in her every day. Coyote had flung them into more places than her heart. She looked into her womb and saw more shards of her failure festering. She felt disconnected from her ancestors. Instead of settling into the wisdom of the crone, her womb shut down and died deep inside her. In Bears mind and thoughts, the shards twisted and turned her into a frightened embarrassed child who was afraid of everyone because they all knew what a bad mother she was.

When, Bear saw Coyote walking in the woods, she would begin shaking. Her breath became wild and erratic. She couldn’t speak or run. She was paralyzed with fear.

Telling your story provides you with a chance to be heard. Everyone needs to feel heard. This is why people yell. They don't feel heard. Writing your story and using traditional tales as a template provides a platform for being heard like so many tales in the past have been heard.

Next we will look at how Bear finds her way out of this situation and becomes restored.